Well, not really - unless there actually was one, but noone told me. That would be typical - making a revolution and failing to inform me. I could have tqaken the day off, maybe decide whether i want Jessica back. But if she can't take... where was I?
Well, a small revolution: The upper class demands a union! They've been blocking main streets (probably purchased protesters, again) with their Segways, and they had a few mobile snack bar serving fried caviar (to greasy if you ask me, but the champaigne was ok).
I can't stand another union. Either the other unions have lost their bite so the bossses seek a new enemy to blame, or they just wanted to have a street party, and tried to evade the traffic congestion fees by calling it political. Trying to cheat on me! I told the Vladimir to get them off the street.
Now that I write it.. Vladimir is the head of the traffic police, isn't he? I always have tea stains on that part of the org chart. There was this other Vladimir - at least .. it must be another Vladimir who likes to talk about the cool stuff the US tested in the middle east recently (Nice chap, this Vladimir, but a bit talkative, doesn't knwo when to shut up). I'll check. Tomorrow. Good night.
Montag, 5. Februar 2007
Donnerstag, 18. Januar 2007
Public Nudity
Yes, compulsory nudity is the rage in our neigbour countries. But ahhh... First the winters.
Others "just" want the freedom of walking around naked.
And they can't accept that the other others find that disgusting.
They have all kinds of explanation, like" puritanism", "prison bars made of cotton", "not natural" etc. Lady, may I tell you: these silk bed sheets don't grow on trees, but crude oil, multiple sclerosis and seven-days-dead-in-the-sun-fish is very natural. "Natural" isn't a quality brand from the office of consumer protection.
Nudity is a personal issue. We have a blossosming nude beach culture, and "textile beaches" for those who prefer to cover up - and, more importantly - want to see you covered up only. You got your freedom, they got theirs, and inbetween a "nude beach" sign.
Case dismissed.
Others "just" want the freedom of walking around naked.
And they can't accept that the other others find that disgusting.
They have all kinds of explanation, like" puritanism", "prison bars made of cotton", "not natural" etc. Lady, may I tell you: these silk bed sheets don't grow on trees, but crude oil, multiple sclerosis and seven-days-dead-in-the-sun-fish is very natural. "Natural" isn't a quality brand from the office of consumer protection.
Nudity is a personal issue. We have a blossosming nude beach culture, and "textile beaches" for those who prefer to cover up - and, more importantly - want to see you covered up only. You got your freedom, they got theirs, and inbetween a "nude beach" sign.
Case dismissed.
Surveillance
Crime is well under control, but there is always room to improve.
So, proposed to me, was a plan to install surveillance cameras, tofollow the girls in summer skirts around monitor public places, to increase safety.
May I present you the following studies:
http://www.notbored.org/cameras-not-effective.html
http://p10.hostingprod.com/@spyblog.org.uk/blog/2005/02/public_cctv_surveillance_schem.html
If someone publishes a contrary study, you might find it here: http://www.google.de/search?q=Surveillance+camera+efficiency+study
Surveillance opens a few cans of worms. First, the efficiency is debatable. Some experts have estimated the efficiency of a public surveillance camera in crime deterrence is equivalent to that of a street lamp, but the latter comes at a fraction of the cost (esp. if you potty mouthed youngsters wouldn't always use them to eschange grafitti messages what mom does).
Second, the effect seems temporary, but the upkeep cost is permanent. Do you want to pay more taxes for this? (No, don't ask me to cut back something else).
Third, they create new circumstance in privacy invasion. Do you trust the people who spend their days watching the tapes? New laws have to be made. When may the evidence be used in court?
It is also a well known fact that we trust unfocused dizzy moving pictures more than a serious and solid talsk of a witness. The consensus here seems to be that a camera is impartial, there is no distortion by messenger in it - but we forget that we distort it when we see it.
So, installation of new surveillance cameras is outlawed in all public places and places where the public has access to.
We might expect a rise in crime from that decision. Prepare yourself - locks, mobiles, dogs, this might also help our stumbling economy. But don't hold your breath our police force will answer with it's well-known speed and efficiency.
So, proposed to me, was a plan to install surveillance cameras, to
May I present you the following studies:
http://www.notbored.org/cameras-not-effective.html
http://p10.hostingprod.com/@spyblog.org.uk/blog/2005/02/public_cctv_surveillance_schem.html
If someone publishes a contrary study, you might find it here: http://www.google.de/search?q=Surveillance+camera+efficiency+study
Surveillance opens a few cans of worms. First, the efficiency is debatable. Some experts have estimated the efficiency of a public surveillance camera in crime deterrence is equivalent to that of a street lamp, but the latter comes at a fraction of the cost (esp. if you potty mouthed youngsters wouldn't always use them to eschange grafitti messages what mom does).
Second, the effect seems temporary, but the upkeep cost is permanent. Do you want to pay more taxes for this? (No, don't ask me to cut back something else).
Third, they create new circumstance in privacy invasion. Do you trust the people who spend their days watching the tapes? New laws have to be made. When may the evidence be used in court?
It is also a well known fact that we trust unfocused dizzy moving pictures more than a serious and solid talsk of a witness. The consensus here seems to be that a camera is impartial, there is no distortion by messenger in it - but we forget that we distort it when we see it.
So, installation of new surveillance cameras is outlawed in all public places and places where the public has access to.
We might expect a rise in crime from that decision. Prepare yourself - locks, mobiles, dogs, this might also help our stumbling economy. But don't hold your breath our police force will answer with it's well-known speed and efficiency.
Dienstag, 16. Januar 2007
Shame on us
12 million people, but still only place 16 in "Largest pizza delivery sector"?! Come on guys, you can do better.
Montag, 15. Januar 2007
Taxes
It had to happen. Whatever you do, don't argue about taxes. But no, you had to go there. So here's the deal.
Taxes have increased 2% for most people, that's not much given we started out at 34% already, and noone of you is willing to give away his or her privileges.
If you remember (you probably don't): the tax raise went into early funding of the education reform - so we have the smartest kids, the best school books and the brightest future ahead, and an stipulation to improve TV shows. And what are you, my beloved citizens, concerned at? That our kids can say phuket 50 times in a row, while our evenly beloved neighbour kids only make it up to 20 before being smacked on the head?! I mean, where are your priorities, guys! And gals!
So here are the proposals I get: Away with taxes. I can understand that. We are paying way to much. I know that feeling.
You know what they charged me for my pack of Woofleonian Style Waffles yesterday? 7 rivets. It says 6.01, but of course that's seven, because we only have whole rivets, remember? And to add insult to injury, what did they say when I said "that's a bit steep"? "It's because all of your taxes, Sir. " Now I have to pay seven rivets for a small pack of Woofleonian Waffles that are - double insult - produced cheaply in the Kingdom of Immutability, I just hope our friends at Woofleonia at least get some woofles for the recipe - and tnow it's also my fault. Where was I?
Oh yes, this argument is invariably followed by lower all taxes, cut back this and that, but not the one thing I benefit from. You know what this is? Kindergarden games.
As an example, lets take one of our IT guys. He says healthcare, education and social welfare for the less fortunate subsidies aren't important, because because people just need to be a bit more like him and they are instantly easy. But Subsidies for IT Investments In Rural Areas (SIIIRA) must remain, because that's really hard.
You know what's funny about it, Mr. Oh-So-IT? You are not an expert on social welfare, not on education, nor - you guessed it - healthcare. But you claim to be an expert on IT, and your mom comes from a rural area.
So you are basically saying: you can't do what you claim to be best at without my money.
Listen, guys (and gals): Unless the Book publishers industry unanimously votes to do without Subsidies For Large Lettered Books For The Elderly (SFLLBFTE), I won't cut back taxes on anyones wish. Period.
So the next option on the table? Tax the rich more, the poor less.
To be true, the really rich pay 50%, some more, of what they cannot hide. I would tax them a lot higher, because all people I met that were richer than me were arrogant stupid assholes thinking they know how the world works and all, but couldn't feed a pig without getting their hands dirty.
But there's the first problem: "rich", for most people, is relative, it usually means "richer than me". So the argument comes out as: "tax everyone but me".
Two more reasons speak against it: Future generations need someone to tax - think of the rich peopel as "Money Zoo". Second:
Tax Evasion Balance. This means: Every percent they are supposed to spent more on taxes will instead be spent on clever schemes to avoid that. All extra rivets in the game go to a bank in Buckold, and the King of Zommer will mock me about my tax rate. We would just breed businessmen that excel at tax evasion.
Note to self: devise a scheme to export tax evasion specialists to those in need, determine target market and suitable prices.
Taxing the poor less: The very poor don't pay much anything beyond the sales tax, luxury tax etc. they pay when buying stuff from their government subsidies - so this is a null sum game fur us, and a secret fundung of McBurger and CheapoBeerCan Inc, again. The majority is the biggest source of income, to lower their taxes and still breaking even, I'd need to increase the highest tax bracket to about 178%. I still have to figure out a way to do that.
So third option? Let everyone decide where taxes go.
I trust you, I really do. But I don't know whether I should trust you to think of tomorrow, to think of the country as a whole. You can argue with most individuals, but if you start to put them together, funny things start to happen. They kiss and throw cutlery, but most importantly, they spent most of their time making sure noone is more fortunate than themselves. Weird, eh?
So, I am torn on this. I wish I just could dismiss this. That would probably be the best.
But Jessica says I should show more decisiveness, I am a leader, after all. So I decide: there will be a tax reform, and with the next tax return declaration, you can vote on where your money goes. (Not literally, of course, we let the numbers run through the guy you always harassed in high school, because he's good at math).
And I trust you, may dear lazy Tivertoniasensis who are to lazy to fill out their complicated tax thingie, to give me some wiggle room. And to complain that tax return sheets jsut got more complicated.
Sigh. Life of a leader is hard. I need a backrub.
Taxes have increased 2% for most people, that's not much given we started out at 34% already, and noone of you is willing to give away his or her privileges.
If you remember (you probably don't): the tax raise went into early funding of the education reform - so we have the smartest kids, the best school books and the brightest future ahead, and an stipulation to improve TV shows. And what are you, my beloved citizens, concerned at? That our kids can say phuket 50 times in a row, while our evenly beloved neighbour kids only make it up to 20 before being smacked on the head?! I mean, where are your priorities, guys! And gals!
So here are the proposals I get: Away with taxes. I can understand that. We are paying way to much. I know that feeling.
You know what they charged me for my pack of Woofleonian Style Waffles yesterday? 7 rivets. It says 6.01, but of course that's seven, because we only have whole rivets, remember? And to add insult to injury, what did they say when I said "that's a bit steep"? "It's because all of your taxes, Sir. " Now I have to pay seven rivets for a small pack of Woofleonian Waffles that are - double insult - produced cheaply in the Kingdom of Immutability, I just hope our friends at Woofleonia at least get some woofles for the recipe - and tnow it's also my fault. Where was I?
Oh yes, this argument is invariably followed by lower all taxes, cut back this and that, but not the one thing I benefit from. You know what this is? Kindergarden games.
As an example, lets take one of our IT guys. He says healthcare, education and social welfare for the less fortunate subsidies aren't important, because because people just need to be a bit more like him and they are instantly easy. But Subsidies for IT Investments In Rural Areas (SIIIRA) must remain, because that's really hard.
You know what's funny about it, Mr. Oh-So-IT? You are not an expert on social welfare, not on education, nor - you guessed it - healthcare. But you claim to be an expert on IT, and your mom comes from a rural area.
So you are basically saying: you can't do what you claim to be best at without my money.
Listen, guys (and gals): Unless the Book publishers industry unanimously votes to do without Subsidies For Large Lettered Books For The Elderly (SFLLBFTE), I won't cut back taxes on anyones wish. Period.
So the next option on the table? Tax the rich more, the poor less.
To be true, the really rich pay 50%, some more, of what they cannot hide. I would tax them a lot higher, because all people I met that were richer than me were arrogant stupid assholes thinking they know how the world works and all, but couldn't feed a pig without getting their hands dirty.
But there's the first problem: "rich", for most people, is relative, it usually means "richer than me". So the argument comes out as: "tax everyone but me".
Two more reasons speak against it: Future generations need someone to tax - think of the rich peopel as "Money Zoo". Second:
Tax Evasion Balance. This means: Every percent they are supposed to spent more on taxes will instead be spent on clever schemes to avoid that. All extra rivets in the game go to a bank in Buckold, and the King of Zommer will mock me about my tax rate. We would just breed businessmen that excel at tax evasion.
Note to self: devise a scheme to export tax evasion specialists to those in need, determine target market and suitable prices.
Taxing the poor less: The very poor don't pay much anything beyond the sales tax, luxury tax etc. they pay when buying stuff from their government subsidies - so this is a null sum game fur us, and a secret fundung of McBurger and CheapoBeerCan Inc, again. The majority is the biggest source of income, to lower their taxes and still breaking even, I'd need to increase the highest tax bracket to about 178%. I still have to figure out a way to do that.
So third option? Let everyone decide where taxes go.
I trust you, I really do. But I don't know whether I should trust you to think of tomorrow, to think of the country as a whole. You can argue with most individuals, but if you start to put them together, funny things start to happen. They kiss and throw cutlery, but most importantly, they spent most of their time making sure noone is more fortunate than themselves. Weird, eh?
So, I am torn on this. I wish I just could dismiss this. That would probably be the best.
But Jessica says I should show more decisiveness, I am a leader, after all. So I decide: there will be a tax reform, and with the next tax return declaration, you can vote on where your money goes. (Not literally, of course, we let the numbers run through the guy you always harassed in high school, because he's good at math).
And I trust you, may dear lazy Tivertoniasensis who are to lazy to fill out their complicated tax thingie, to give me some wiggle room. And to complain that tax return sheets jsut got more complicated.
Sigh. Life of a leader is hard. I need a backrub.
Sonntag, 14. Januar 2007
Why doesn't the church read my blog?
My post about freedom of speech is still fresh, and what do I get today? "Parents for law-abiding education" wants me to remove Harry Potter from schools. Because he summons 'demons' to do 'his bidings'.
So, yes, Parents for law-abiding education are serious religous nu... errr... are seriously reality challenged. (Or - if you don't believe in a reality that is independent of our minds - they are at least sensory challenged).
Children read fairy tales. period. The church is allowed to run sunday schools, and tell the kids everything about the bible they want to know. Besides, Saffra TV just won the our price for positive depiction of minorities for what? A priest with a women shoe fetish. That's all your screen time for today, guys. You can ask again next week, but if you don't bother with the Tivertonian State News channel, at least read my blog!
To all tolerant and open minded christians out there: I am sorry. I am sorry that a small group sheds such a bad light on you. Even if you don't like these fantasy books: If you want your children to believe by heart, not just because they don't know anything else, they need to learn to handle these.
P.S. Personally I find Harry Potter boring. It's an easy read, but somehow.. long.
So, yes, Parents for law-abiding education are serious religous nu... errr... are seriously reality challenged. (Or - if you don't believe in a reality that is independent of our minds - they are at least sensory challenged).
Children read fairy tales. period. The church is allowed to run sunday schools, and tell the kids everything about the bible they want to know. Besides, Saffra TV just won the our price for positive depiction of minorities for what? A priest with a women shoe fetish. That's all your screen time for today, guys. You can ask again next week, but if you don't bother with the Tivertonian State News channel, at least read my blog!
To all tolerant and open minded christians out there: I am sorry. I am sorry that a small group sheds such a bad light on you. Even if you don't like these fantasy books: If you want your children to believe by heart, not just because they don't know anything else, they need to learn to handle these.
P.S. Personally I find Harry Potter boring. It's an easy read, but somehow.. long.
Free Speech followup
If I find that bleep who did cost us the first place in "nicest citizens of The Codeproject lands" with his bleeping comments about the pattern on my tie at the inauguration ceremony, I will bleep his bleeping bleep until he can bleep no more. And smack him on the head.
Free Speech!
Yes, we have reinforced the principles of free speech.
The argument for it goes like this:
"Free speech allows ideas to be explored, challenged, and discussed in a productive, open forum. It teaches our kids to be critical thinkers. And dirty words, of course, but that's just the price you pay."
Which is a bit misleading. It sounds like it would somehow magically create a "productive, open forum" - but that's not true. If we had a open forum, free speech would surely help - but since free speech is more or less included already in the "open" part of an open forum, then whole thing looks like a snake biting its tail. (Which is called Ouroboros. Look it up.)
Reminder: Fori are never productive. They are there to figure out what to produce.
And teaching our kids to be critical thinkers? Our teachers do that. As said, free speech makes people think they get away with calling their mom a slut. (sorry, mom). This is not the case, it just stops me from making a general law about what you cannot say anytime anywhere in this country. It is still not ok to tell people on the burial of your grandma with how many men she lived and that she smelled bad. But it is ok in an medical emergency when the doctore asks you specifically about it.
But there is the reason I am all for free speech:
I personally don't want to sit down and think whether it's ok to fart in a plane given you are digestionally challenged, but not ok to tell the stewardess. Thats just to complicated.
I wanted to go with the "free speech, but smack them if they use bad language" choice, but that got the parliament all confused. Ahh well.
The argument for it goes like this:
"Free speech allows ideas to be explored, challenged, and discussed in a productive, open forum. It teaches our kids to be critical thinkers. And dirty words, of course, but that's just the price you pay."
Which is a bit misleading. It sounds like it would somehow magically create a "productive, open forum" - but that's not true. If we had a open forum, free speech would surely help - but since free speech is more or less included already in the "open" part of an open forum, then whole thing looks like a snake biting its tail. (Which is called Ouroboros. Look it up.)
Reminder: Fori are never productive. They are there to figure out what to produce.
And teaching our kids to be critical thinkers? Our teachers do that. As said, free speech makes people think they get away with calling their mom a slut. (sorry, mom). This is not the case, it just stops me from making a general law about what you cannot say anytime anywhere in this country. It is still not ok to tell people on the burial of your grandma with how many men she lived and that she smelled bad. But it is ok in an medical emergency when the doctore asks you specifically about it.
But there is the reason I am all for free speech:
I personally don't want to sit down and think whether it's ok to fart in a plane given you are digestionally challenged, but not ok to tell the stewardess. Thats just to complicated.
I wanted to go with the "free speech, but smack them if they use bad language" choice, but that got the parliament all confused. Ahh well.
Samstag, 13. Januar 2007
The Dwarfs! The Dwarfs!
(currently listening to: Eurythmics "Doubleplusgood". Ironic, isn't it?)
I've heard a lot about the Tiverton Dwarfs, yet - as surprising as this may be - I've never met one. Today way the day, we had some delegates in the parliament, together with some TV executive. I can just say, they are cute little buggers (the minipeople, not the TV guy, who was rather big).
They don't like to be called dwarfes, or little buggers, or minipeople, they prefer liliputans. Just imagine their troubles climbing on a bar stool, and you will agree that it's only fair to grant them that little wish. So it's liliputian, two 'l' and two 'i' total, remember that. There will be a test at the next elections (Just kidding!)
So of course they came to me with a wish. They want to be on TV! Specifically, they want to be on 'The Brash and the Backstabbing', which is a nice show (I like the young lady in the long skirt best). Well, now I am all for some more diversity on TV but if I let them have their way, who's next? That short skirted, potty-mouthed non-singer that is all the rage in more capitalist and less cultured countries? I couldn't forgive me doing that to you.
So I kindly tell them sorry, I can't decide that but I'll try my best to help them. I ask the TV guy if they could get an appearance on "Wonderful World", but he starts to splutter something about leaving him alone, and that quotas are bad and such things. OK, he may be a bit sensitive about this, but then he said: "Doesn't the government have something better to do?"
"Doesn't the government have something better to do?"
Let the arrogance sink in for a moment. Just because he knows how to yell at subordinates to work harder and make him more money, he thinks he also knows what is best for you? We listen to the small guy, too. And that's not only liliputans. After all, there are so few big guys, and so many small guys on this world.
Now I do ponder implementign a minority quota. But quota sounds so gravely serious, and the little bugger liliputians have put me in a good mood. Besides, I am advised that the B&B show is made by a private TV station. I am a bit surprised that we have such a thing, because I thought we are a socialist democracy, and anytime I meet a delegate of DouglasAdamia, he sneers that we need more private TV to become a real country. But as leader of the country, I can't show my surprise, and have to act all knowledged and insightful.
So I go all smirky, and announce that there will be a yearly prize. A prize for the positive portrayal of minorities. the lil ones nod in agreement but the TV guy is still fuming. I think I will finance the price by a little tax on potty mouthed singers on private TV.
Side note: I haven't seen that advisor Jessica, for a while, I am wondering if she did quit.
I've heard a lot about the Tiverton Dwarfs, yet - as surprising as this may be - I've never met one. Today way the day, we had some delegates in the parliament, together with some TV executive. I can just say, they are cute little buggers (the minipeople, not the TV guy, who was rather big).
They don't like to be called dwarfes, or little buggers, or minipeople, they prefer liliputans. Just imagine their troubles climbing on a bar stool, and you will agree that it's only fair to grant them that little wish. So it's liliputian, two 'l' and two 'i' total, remember that. There will be a test at the next elections (Just kidding!)
So of course they came to me with a wish. They want to be on TV! Specifically, they want to be on 'The Brash and the Backstabbing', which is a nice show (I like the young lady in the long skirt best). Well, now I am all for some more diversity on TV but if I let them have their way, who's next? That short skirted, potty-mouthed non-singer that is all the rage in more capitalist and less cultured countries? I couldn't forgive me doing that to you.
So I kindly tell them sorry, I can't decide that but I'll try my best to help them. I ask the TV guy if they could get an appearance on "Wonderful World", but he starts to splutter something about leaving him alone, and that quotas are bad and such things. OK, he may be a bit sensitive about this, but then he said: "Doesn't the government have something better to do?"
"Doesn't the government have something better to do?"
Let the arrogance sink in for a moment. Just because he knows how to yell at subordinates to work harder and make him more money, he thinks he also knows what is best for you? We listen to the small guy, too. And that's not only liliputans. After all, there are so few big guys, and so many small guys on this world.
Now I do ponder implementign a minority quota. But quota sounds so gravely serious, and the little bugger liliputians have put me in a good mood. Besides, I am advised that the B&B show is made by a private TV station. I am a bit surprised that we have such a thing, because I thought we are a socialist democracy, and anytime I meet a delegate of DouglasAdamia, he sneers that we need more private TV to become a real country. But as leader of the country, I can't show my surprise, and have to act all knowledged and insightful.
So I go all smirky, and announce that there will be a yearly prize. A prize for the positive portrayal of minorities. the lil ones nod in agreement but the TV guy is still fuming. I think I will finance the price by a little tax on potty mouthed singers on private TV.
Side note: I haven't seen that advisor Jessica, for a while, I am wondering if she did quit.
Exaggerated: Uranium vs. Rainforest
We live in interesting times!
This is said to be an old chinese curse, and the amount of tough decisions I had to make in my first days is overwhelming. It is crazy I tell you.
Facts: Nucular Inc., the research and discovery branch of Nukes4U, has discovered what is believed a major uranium deposit in the south west Saffra rainforest region.
Nukes4U, if you can imagine and I take the liberty to disclose here, of course is running wild. They are spinning at 175rpm around themselves and sound like they just declared World War IV -and won. Of course, to exploit this we just need to bulldoze half of Saffra, including the lush waterfalls near Sandia.
It's just trees you may say.
I have no problem bulldozing down a few trees if it builds you a better future. Once we have enough money, we can plant all trees we like, right?
But the truth is, once the trees are gone, the forest won't come back. A small opening will be closed in a few years, but large scale deforestation leaves us with stones and dust. Rainforest is a fragile ecosystem that depends on the presence of multiple contributing factors to remain stable. The rich, wild and overgrowing appearance is quickly turned into an arid and scarce landscape once the trees are gone. Mankind still doesn't have the skill to create a place like Sandia falls.
And there is the uranium. In a time of unstable energy supplies, when some desperate countries try to acquire nuclear weapons on the black market, just to disassemble them and feed their homegrown power stations, creating a hazard for the entire region (yes, I mean you, you who knows I mean you), it is a tempting source of income. Income that can make our lives better.
Also, Uranium drives technology, the civil branch of Nukes4U, AtomicWallplugs Inc., has always been and continues to be a deciding factor in development of new technologies, and may one day lead us to the realization of mankinds old dream of a man-made sun: clean, environment-friendly, safe and simple fission reactors.
So what to do? We work closely with Nukes4U, to make sure they enforce high security standards on nuclear energy rich material. We don't sell nukes, but we sell protection. We don't sell uranium, but we sell energy. We don't want to be a country held in poverty by rich supplies of raw materials.
So here is the deal we struck: modereate, controlled mining and deforestation, with a maximum of 10% increase in production levels. Further deforestation will be allowed only if independent experts confirm that the demined area is in a state of ecological health, and the rainforest will recover.
This will also help preserve the resources for future generations, We will ensure a steady stream of income, instead of making a big buck now for some private corporation promising to create jobs that they are only too happy to outsource to the sweatshops of the Kingdom of Immutability.
This comes as an acceptable compromise also for the the many hard working people in the tourism industry that make the Saffra region a beautiful place to stay. It will not be easy to balance the influx of new workers and processing industry into that region with the demands of "preservation for recreation", but I am confident we can handle it.
Now, maybe you are still not happy. If you are a greedy corporate bugger: I am making sure here your grandson still has a possibility to do business, so he doesn't have to sell himself to the KoI temp time legion after your son spent all your money on prostitutes, so give me some credit here.
Or you might be one of the few people that dislike anything involving "atoms". Basic knowledge of our book of statistics tells me you are more likely to hold a degree in comparative philantropy, than in nuclear physics, and that you have an unexplainable but significantly increased demand for cheap shears, compared to the average Tivertonian.
Remember that shears you bought lately - "Made in KoI" shyly printed in tiny letters on an almost inaccessible nudge in the plastic cover. They wouldn't do that if we wouldn't have enacted a law that requires that. But I don't want to talk about buying cheap from foreign countries, I want to talk about that plastic cover. That was so hard to open. Exactly. You know how long it takes to compose? I don't, but it will last as long as some innocent uranium for sure. And with its sharp edges, it is at least as dangerous as some radiating waste. So there. The self confidence hotline is 555-1234-I-FEEL-USELESS. 24hours a day, sponsored by your compassionate leader.
This is said to be an old chinese curse, and the amount of tough decisions I had to make in my first days is overwhelming. It is crazy I tell you.
Facts: Nucular Inc., the research and discovery branch of Nukes4U, has discovered what is believed a major uranium deposit in the south west Saffra rainforest region.
Nukes4U, if you can imagine and I take the liberty to disclose here, of course is running wild. They are spinning at 175rpm around themselves and sound like they just declared World War IV -and won. Of course, to exploit this we just need to bulldoze half of Saffra, including the lush waterfalls near Sandia.
It's just trees you may say.
I have no problem bulldozing down a few trees if it builds you a better future. Once we have enough money, we can plant all trees we like, right?
But the truth is, once the trees are gone, the forest won't come back. A small opening will be closed in a few years, but large scale deforestation leaves us with stones and dust. Rainforest is a fragile ecosystem that depends on the presence of multiple contributing factors to remain stable. The rich, wild and overgrowing appearance is quickly turned into an arid and scarce landscape once the trees are gone. Mankind still doesn't have the skill to create a place like Sandia falls.
And there is the uranium. In a time of unstable energy supplies, when some desperate countries try to acquire nuclear weapons on the black market, just to disassemble them and feed their homegrown power stations, creating a hazard for the entire region (yes, I mean you, you who knows I mean you), it is a tempting source of income. Income that can make our lives better.
Also, Uranium drives technology, the civil branch of Nukes4U, AtomicWallplugs Inc., has always been and continues to be a deciding factor in development of new technologies, and may one day lead us to the realization of mankinds old dream of a man-made sun: clean, environment-friendly, safe and simple fission reactors.
So what to do? We work closely with Nukes4U, to make sure they enforce high security standards on nuclear energy rich material. We don't sell nukes, but we sell protection. We don't sell uranium, but we sell energy. We don't want to be a country held in poverty by rich supplies of raw materials.
So here is the deal we struck: modereate, controlled mining and deforestation, with a maximum of 10% increase in production levels. Further deforestation will be allowed only if independent experts confirm that the demined area is in a state of ecological health, and the rainforest will recover.
This will also help preserve the resources for future generations, We will ensure a steady stream of income, instead of making a big buck now for some private corporation promising to create jobs that they are only too happy to outsource to the sweatshops of the Kingdom of Immutability.
This comes as an acceptable compromise also for the the many hard working people in the tourism industry that make the Saffra region a beautiful place to stay. It will not be easy to balance the influx of new workers and processing industry into that region with the demands of "preservation for recreation", but I am confident we can handle it.
Now, maybe you are still not happy. If you are a greedy corporate bugger: I am making sure here your grandson still has a possibility to do business, so he doesn't have to sell himself to the KoI temp time legion after your son spent all your money on prostitutes, so give me some credit here.
Or you might be one of the few people that dislike anything involving "atoms". Basic knowledge of our book of statistics tells me you are more likely to hold a degree in comparative philantropy, than in nuclear physics, and that you have an unexplainable but significantly increased demand for cheap shears, compared to the average Tivertonian.
Remember that shears you bought lately - "Made in KoI" shyly printed in tiny letters on an almost inaccessible nudge in the plastic cover. They wouldn't do that if we wouldn't have enacted a law that requires that. But I don't want to talk about buying cheap from foreign countries, I want to talk about that plastic cover. That was so hard to open. Exactly. You know how long it takes to compose? I don't, but it will last as long as some innocent uranium for sure. And with its sharp edges, it is at least as dangerous as some radiating waste. So there. The self confidence hotline is 555-1234-I-FEEL-USELESS. 24hours a day, sponsored by your compassionate leader.
You can't buy me (because you would buy someone else)
The recent rise in the discussion about funding of election campaigns, together with the unfortunate events around my main competitors campaign reimbursement declaration brought this topic in fromt of the parliament.
So the question is: do we allow companies to fund the election campaigns of prospective presidents?
Look at the countries that have it. During election season, you just can't talk a sensible word with them. Yet, voter turnout is only marginally higher than in Tivertonias, and after these other countries election hangover clears up, they all talk like they have to justify their decision, spouting that everything else would be much worse.
I am not aiming for less bad, I am aiming for better. I want to be a leader you are proud of. I want to be so good for you that you can just laugh at those other countries antics, and be done with it.
So no, there will be no vote or voter buying, and the maximum expenditure for ralleys remains fixed. Additionally, we proposed and will enact a law that all work and services provided for an election campaign event must be provided by a government-approved agency with a fixed set of rates. Agencies will be assigned to bidders at random.
As you know, the low voter turnout was easily fixed with the compulsory voting act. Fixing and capping rates also requires more ingenuitey by the contenders, you have limited resources, now make the most of it!
So the question is: do we allow companies to fund the election campaigns of prospective presidents?
Look at the countries that have it. During election season, you just can't talk a sensible word with them. Yet, voter turnout is only marginally higher than in Tivertonias, and after these other countries election hangover clears up, they all talk like they have to justify their decision, spouting that everything else would be much worse.
I am not aiming for less bad, I am aiming for better. I want to be a leader you are proud of. I want to be so good for you that you can just laugh at those other countries antics, and be done with it.
So no, there will be no vote or voter buying, and the maximum expenditure for ralleys remains fixed. Additionally, we proposed and will enact a law that all work and services provided for an election campaign event must be provided by a government-approved agency with a fixed set of rates. Agencies will be assigned to bidders at random.
As you know, the low voter turnout was easily fixed with the compulsory voting act. Fixing and capping rates also requires more ingenuitey by the contenders, you have limited resources, now make the most of it!
Uncle Sam needs your liver!
This was really unpopular. Compulsory Organ Donations!
One of the newspapers today had a front page front page picture that can be adequately described as disgusting: A caricature man that I assume is supposed to be with a huge scalpel in one hand, the other hand deep in the ripped-open chest of a traffic accident victim, surrounded by scantily clothed women mourning.
I presume the makers of this newspaper don't like me very much. That is the life of a rpesident who decides, rather than appeal.
It was a hard decision for me. I feel deep inside that life is a miracle, some fragile miracle to be protected. But donating an organ after death will nor scar life, but will allow recycling its machinery. We want to give that fragile scent of magic another chance.
As you may take from the official announcement - if anyone cares to listen, do I have to nationalize media outlets to get you listen to me instead of that mindless clowns?
As you may take from the official announcement, the law has been greatly exaggerated. Everybody (no pun intended !) is a potential donor by default, you can opt out by carrying a Organ Donation Refusal Card every time. The card has to be renewed yearly, and you have to motivate your decision written or oral to a representative of the the newly founded Ministry of organ Donation Refusal Management.
Let's be frank here: people die because to many of you are to lazy to get an organ donor card just once in their lifetime. The last government simply ignored the topic, and the one before adopted the position that people are good hearted and eager to help. My position is: people are good hearted, but to lazy to act on it. So we help you be the good guy.
Afternote: During the debate, My advisor Jessica Dontcallmejustsomethingihavearealnamelookitupifyoucareabout me said "compulsory" so often that I almost fainted. Only later I figured out she was against that. Will she now hate me? This is the kind of sacrifice I have to make as your leader.
One of the newspapers today had a front page front page picture that can be adequately described as disgusting: A caricature man that I assume is supposed to be with a huge scalpel in one hand, the other hand deep in the ripped-open chest of a traffic accident victim, surrounded by scantily clothed women mourning.
I presume the makers of this newspaper don't like me very much. That is the life of a rpesident who decides, rather than appeal.
It was a hard decision for me. I feel deep inside that life is a miracle, some fragile miracle to be protected. But donating an organ after death will nor scar life, but will allow recycling its machinery. We want to give that fragile scent of magic another chance.
As you may take from the official announcement - if anyone cares to listen, do I have to nationalize media outlets to get you listen to me instead of that mindless clowns?
As you may take from the official announcement, the law has been greatly exaggerated. Everybody (no pun intended !) is a potential donor by default, you can opt out by carrying a Organ Donation Refusal Card every time. The card has to be renewed yearly, and you have to motivate your decision written or oral to a representative of the the newly founded Ministry of organ Donation Refusal Management.
Let's be frank here: people die because to many of you are to lazy to get an organ donor card just once in their lifetime. The last government simply ignored the topic, and the one before adopted the position that people are good hearted and eager to help. My position is: people are good hearted, but to lazy to act on it. So we help you be the good guy.
Afternote: During the debate, My advisor Jessica Dontcallmejustsomethingihavearealnamelookitupifyoucareabout me said "compulsory" so often that I almost fainted. Only later I figured out she was against that. Will she now hate me? This is the kind of sacrifice I have to make as your leader.
Ed-Uh-Cay-Shun
You may remember my election motto: "Building a better future - and having fun doing it!" Today, we achieved a huge milestone.
First, as usual, some background information. The IT workers union deal turned out less unfortunate than I expected, as it left us with some extra money in the union subsidies fund. Of course, as my mom (hello mom!!) always says: You can spend your money, or wait for them to take it away from you. (I tell her: mom - now I am "them", but she won't listen)
So of course the hawking starts. "We need moooore police and more weapons!" they said. "There are some people who still are off worse than others, we need to increase social security and health care funds". "We could get the education system reform rolling early". Jessica also said something, but I can't remember (it didn't contain anything compulsory I guess).
From the media, you know I opted for the education system reform. Here is why:
Even if in four years you decide that I am a loathable leader, incompetent, not filling your purse fast enough, or cutting down to many trees, I want to leave you something. A long term investment that will show its positive results in maybe ten or fifteen years. It's not money, but bright minds.
Taken alone, a human being is a sparkling fountain of curiosity. Everything must be probed and poked, turned around or turned into service. As a group, however, many people seem to lose that spark. In the last decades, I have seen a great decline in what I call appreciation of intelligence. We marvel at athletic bodies, at the beautiful hip swing of a fleeting social butterfly, even knowledge is acceptable if it wins you a million rivets in a TV show. But intelligence, the process of taking things apart purely in your mind, and putting them together again, and winning understanding in that process, does not seem desirable anymore.
Why is that so? Many reasons can be found. Let me count a few.
A century ago, for many people education was the only way to get out of their miserable, barbarian living conditions, always at the brink of death by poverty. If they couldn't help themselves, they saved their last rivets to send their children to school, so at least they have a chance for a better life. Happily, we now have built a country where noone needs to be afraid of starving, noone needs to live in a slum that crushes every blossom of mental beauty under mindless violence and mindnumbing work.
We have also developed an appreciation of equality. It started a few centuries ago with a great idea: Same laws for everybody. Now that we are close, close enough, to this lofty goal, we are in the region of refinement: everybody should be treated the same, have the same chances, starting conditions, etc. This is a great ideal, no doubt.
But the truth is, we are not the same. A great mind once perceived that "Equality is the death of equity". Meaning: Everybody starts with different abilities, preferences and challenges. If we put people with these different starting conditions into the same game, they end up differently. Some people will have it easier to rise to the top, while others will have to spend all their life struggling so they don't sink to the very bottom. That's a law of nature, and unlike manmade laws, those of nature are immutable. We can't make a decree that all people are equal. In all fairness, we can, but that doesn't change a thing.
(Maybe one day we understand the laws of nature well enough so we can use them in our favor and give everybody the same starting conditions. However, do we really what this? I am not sure about my thoughts, and I don't know what would be best for you, my people.)
What does this have to do with Intelligence?
It's one of the last strongholds of inequality. If you want a muscular, adorable body, you just need to put in the willpower to train every day. If this doesn't work for you, there are pills that make this terribly easy. If you desire an appearance that makes people feel all warm and fuzzy and full of desire, there are pills, surgery and photoshop. If you want to know the first president of Zommer, there are books, TV shows, and the vast realms of the internet, all available for an incredibly small fee. But ah! intelligence. We don't know any concotion or operation that makes you suddenly smarter. We know a few things that help it, and many things that hurt it, but we don't control it. So parts of society see extremely intelligent people as abnormal, as freaks, and some of the bright minds respond by hiding it.
With the Education System Reform, we want to create a nourishing ground where intelligence, knowledge and understanding can grow freely, grow rich and grow strong. Intelligence is a gift much like a strong body: turning that gift into becoming a renowned athlete requires a lot of work, dedication, and sweat.
But what about the less gifted? If you aren't a genius, will you be cast into the abyss of powerty, much like a weak body did in medieval times?
No. Education will be for everybody. I want to raise the brightest minds of these lands, but I also want to give everybody the chance to learn what they need to take control over their life. Bright minds can picture the future, but we also need strong hands to build it. And you will need all your brains to keep up with our brightest! That is my promise.
Experience shows that education is the best weapon against poverty, against violence, for a healthier lifestyle. So the money we spent today was not only invested in education, but also in law and order, social and health care. You may not see the effects today, and all you will see tomorrow is our "brains" media campaign promoting appreciation of intelligence. But this is only a tiny part. The true work will unfold in the next month and over the years. You will see it firsthand if you have a child in a public school.
First, as usual, some background information. The IT workers union deal turned out less unfortunate than I expected, as it left us with some extra money in the union subsidies fund. Of course, as my mom (hello mom!!) always says: You can spend your money, or wait for them to take it away from you. (I tell her: mom - now I am "them", but she won't listen)
So of course the hawking starts. "We need moooore police and more weapons!" they said. "There are some people who still are off worse than others, we need to increase social security and health care funds". "We could get the education system reform rolling early". Jessica also said something, but I can't remember (it didn't contain anything compulsory I guess).
From the media, you know I opted for the education system reform. Here is why:
Even if in four years you decide that I am a loathable leader, incompetent, not filling your purse fast enough, or cutting down to many trees, I want to leave you something. A long term investment that will show its positive results in maybe ten or fifteen years. It's not money, but bright minds.
Taken alone, a human being is a sparkling fountain of curiosity. Everything must be probed and poked, turned around or turned into service. As a group, however, many people seem to lose that spark. In the last decades, I have seen a great decline in what I call appreciation of intelligence. We marvel at athletic bodies, at the beautiful hip swing of a fleeting social butterfly, even knowledge is acceptable if it wins you a million rivets in a TV show. But intelligence, the process of taking things apart purely in your mind, and putting them together again, and winning understanding in that process, does not seem desirable anymore.
Why is that so? Many reasons can be found. Let me count a few.
A century ago, for many people education was the only way to get out of their miserable, barbarian living conditions, always at the brink of death by poverty. If they couldn't help themselves, they saved their last rivets to send their children to school, so at least they have a chance for a better life. Happily, we now have built a country where noone needs to be afraid of starving, noone needs to live in a slum that crushes every blossom of mental beauty under mindless violence and mindnumbing work.
We have also developed an appreciation of equality. It started a few centuries ago with a great idea: Same laws for everybody. Now that we are close, close enough, to this lofty goal, we are in the region of refinement: everybody should be treated the same, have the same chances, starting conditions, etc. This is a great ideal, no doubt.
But the truth is, we are not the same. A great mind once perceived that "Equality is the death of equity". Meaning: Everybody starts with different abilities, preferences and challenges. If we put people with these different starting conditions into the same game, they end up differently. Some people will have it easier to rise to the top, while others will have to spend all their life struggling so they don't sink to the very bottom. That's a law of nature, and unlike manmade laws, those of nature are immutable. We can't make a decree that all people are equal. In all fairness, we can, but that doesn't change a thing.
(Maybe one day we understand the laws of nature well enough so we can use them in our favor and give everybody the same starting conditions. However, do we really what this? I am not sure about my thoughts, and I don't know what would be best for you, my people.)
What does this have to do with Intelligence?
It's one of the last strongholds of inequality. If you want a muscular, adorable body, you just need to put in the willpower to train every day. If this doesn't work for you, there are pills that make this terribly easy. If you desire an appearance that makes people feel all warm and fuzzy and full of desire, there are pills, surgery and photoshop. If you want to know the first president of Zommer, there are books, TV shows, and the vast realms of the internet, all available for an incredibly small fee. But ah! intelligence. We don't know any concotion or operation that makes you suddenly smarter. We know a few things that help it, and many things that hurt it, but we don't control it. So parts of society see extremely intelligent people as abnormal, as freaks, and some of the bright minds respond by hiding it.
With the Education System Reform, we want to create a nourishing ground where intelligence, knowledge and understanding can grow freely, grow rich and grow strong. Intelligence is a gift much like a strong body: turning that gift into becoming a renowned athlete requires a lot of work, dedication, and sweat.
But what about the less gifted? If you aren't a genius, will you be cast into the abyss of powerty, much like a weak body did in medieval times?
No. Education will be for everybody. I want to raise the brightest minds of these lands, but I also want to give everybody the chance to learn what they need to take control over their life. Bright minds can picture the future, but we also need strong hands to build it. And you will need all your brains to keep up with our brightest! That is my promise.
Experience shows that education is the best weapon against poverty, against violence, for a healthier lifestyle. So the money we spent today was not only invested in education, but also in law and order, social and health care. You may not see the effects today, and all you will see tomorrow is our "brains" media campaign promoting appreciation of intelligence. But this is only a tiny part. The true work will unfold in the next month and over the years. You will see it firsthand if you have a child in a public school.
I made a mistake
This morning, something weird happened.
To make it absolutely clear before you stop reading: I didn't make a wrong decision. But I came to it in a way that I regret.
I get up early, make my morning exercise, shower, than I awake from that weird dream. I check my e-mail. As a head of state, I have to read all of them. You don't know how useless spam filters are for people like me. You can't imagine what ruckus was caused lately when the Minister of Trade of our beloved neighborcountry, Zommer, sent the follwing e-mail:
"Hi buddy,
I fond a great way to en!han!ce your manylhood! WHatever takes you down, Va1igrA takes you up again. We offer Chea!Pset rates! You must try! You will love it!
P.S. If you want us to lift the spoiled milk import ban, call me in the next hour, I go to the spa at 5"
Of course, it got picked up as spam, and Zommer was not happy about his representatives being ignored. Apologies were exchanged, but our relationship still needs some time to heal.
We of ocurse immediately changed our spam policy, which includes now me reading all e-mails from head to toe. Just as background information.
So yesterday there was one with the sender "Information Technology Workers Union", arguing that they need some laws changed to make IT workers work less. I said WTF! A trade union for code monkeys? Bloody spammers! And I hit the Spam button.
A few hours later, I have an emergency audience with William and Steven, two of the head brains of our thriving IT sector. They inform me that they are very concerned about the current actions of the IT workers union, and that an increase of cost might may make us anticompetetive, they need more freedom in how they deal their workers, and that I need to upgrade my OS. It dawms me that the e-mail earlier probably was legit. Trouble.
To understand what kind of trouble, I have to give you some background information again:
As your leader, I enjoy a pretty efficient IT department. Hitting the "Spam" button puts into motion a Rube Goldberg device: Huge computers start humming while they track down the sender, a signal is sent to the IT Violation Task Force to get into yellow alert. Once the offender is located, alert goes to red, and they start, like the fire fighters you see in the movies. The offernder is usually captured, five cats are tied to him, and he is made to crawl through dark and musty cable ducts for the next ten years. (IT tells me that no "real cats" are harmed in this procedure, so fume down, PETA).
So probably the IT workers union now is kind of headless - sorry guys. Long term I think this will do good, trees need to be pruned now and then and you were getting pretty heavyheaded anyway.
But that leaves me having to deal with William and Steven. I think the IT sector is important to bring our small country to a powerful future. While I am not happy with the partly unfair and borderline inhuman working conditions, we have to make a compromise here for a better future for us all. (It's not everything about making me happy - a little joke on the side!)
As much as I hate it, I have to tell them "Gentlemen, you have all freedom you need to do everything you like, as long as you stay within the law". I could see they weren't happy with that, so I let them take two pieces each from the candy glass. (It was one of the first things I introduced in my office: A candy glass where visitors can take one piece when they go. It makes the place much more friendly and personal.)
Some people demean our economy by calling IT our "capitalist playground". It may appear, but the reasons go deeper.
You all know I am for diversity. Not only in skin color, gender and sexual preference, but also in social and economic approaches. Only diversity prepares us for the sudden changes that come over unsuspecting people and their governments.
Besides, I hate people that think that laws are mutable for them just because we showed off our first computers to each other (Remember how I did envy you, William?) or the media rehashes and regurgitates every and all of your lip droppings.
Concluding: I left the two parties to deal with each other - pretty much my intention about that segment of our economy. To repeat: the outcome is what I intended, but I might have alienated a few friends. It is hard to say "sorry", no matter how heartfelt, if your dropping the wine glass kicks the table candles against the curtains and burns down the house.
I promise to do better.
To make it absolutely clear before you stop reading: I didn't make a wrong decision. But I came to it in a way that I regret.
I get up early, make my morning exercise, shower, than I awake from that weird dream. I check my e-mail. As a head of state, I have to read all of them. You don't know how useless spam filters are for people like me. You can't imagine what ruckus was caused lately when the Minister of Trade of our beloved neighborcountry, Zommer, sent the follwing e-mail:
"Hi buddy,
I fond a great way to en!han!ce your manylhood! WHatever takes you down, Va1igrA takes you up again. We offer Chea!Pset rates! You must try! You will love it!
P.S. If you want us to lift the spoiled milk import ban, call me in the next hour, I go to the spa at 5"
Of course, it got picked up as spam, and Zommer was not happy about his representatives being ignored. Apologies were exchanged, but our relationship still needs some time to heal.
We of ocurse immediately changed our spam policy, which includes now me reading all e-mails from head to toe. Just as background information.
So yesterday there was one with the sender "Information Technology Workers Union", arguing that they need some laws changed to make IT workers work less. I said WTF! A trade union for code monkeys? Bloody spammers! And I hit the Spam button.
A few hours later, I have an emergency audience with William and Steven, two of the head brains of our thriving IT sector. They inform me that they are very concerned about the current actions of the IT workers union, and that an increase of cost might may make us anticompetetive, they need more freedom in how they deal their workers, and that I need to upgrade my OS. It dawms me that the e-mail earlier probably was legit. Trouble.
To understand what kind of trouble, I have to give you some background information again:
As your leader, I enjoy a pretty efficient IT department. Hitting the "Spam" button puts into motion a Rube Goldberg device: Huge computers start humming while they track down the sender, a signal is sent to the IT Violation Task Force to get into yellow alert. Once the offender is located, alert goes to red, and they start, like the fire fighters you see in the movies. The offernder is usually captured, five cats are tied to him, and he is made to crawl through dark and musty cable ducts for the next ten years. (IT tells me that no "real cats" are harmed in this procedure, so fume down, PETA).
So probably the IT workers union now is kind of headless - sorry guys. Long term I think this will do good, trees need to be pruned now and then and you were getting pretty heavyheaded anyway.
But that leaves me having to deal with William and Steven. I think the IT sector is important to bring our small country to a powerful future. While I am not happy with the partly unfair and borderline inhuman working conditions, we have to make a compromise here for a better future for us all. (It's not everything about making me happy - a little joke on the side!)
As much as I hate it, I have to tell them "Gentlemen, you have all freedom you need to do everything you like, as long as you stay within the law". I could see they weren't happy with that, so I let them take two pieces each from the candy glass. (It was one of the first things I introduced in my office: A candy glass where visitors can take one piece when they go. It makes the place much more friendly and personal.)
Some people demean our economy by calling IT our "capitalist playground". It may appear, but the reasons go deeper.
You all know I am for diversity. Not only in skin color, gender and sexual preference, but also in social and economic approaches. Only diversity prepares us for the sudden changes that come over unsuspecting people and their governments.
Besides, I hate people that think that laws are mutable for them just because we showed off our first computers to each other (Remember how I did envy you, William?) or the media rehashes and regurgitates every and all of your lip droppings.
Concluding: I left the two parties to deal with each other - pretty much my intention about that segment of our economy. To repeat: the outcome is what I intended, but I might have alienated a few friends. It is hard to say "sorry", no matter how heartfelt, if your dropping the wine glass kicks the table candles against the curtains and burns down the house.
I promise to do better.
Mittwoch, 10. Januar 2007
Compulsory Voting
(backlog)
Welcome, welcome! Yes, I made it! Since today, 16:35 I am the ruler of Tivertonias. Leader. Elected. Democratic. Democratically elected leader. That's it. It is hard to get used to these things. My brother, Wong, seems to be a bit jealous, but he is looking up to me as if I were a titan and beautiful girls would spring from my brain.
And the first issue, I think I handled very well. Compulsory Voting. Yes of course! I take few vacations. I work hard 8 to ten hours day. I have to refrain from calling in the military and remain friendly when the representative of Zommer breathes his spoiled-milk-breath into my face and tells me 'funny' jokes I still remember from kindergarden. He says it's quality cheese, but I still say all they need are a few refrigerators. One per cow. Maybe he is testing my antics. "Does he still remembree zeese shokes? Yes, he is not debile yet. What aah pitie!"
Where was I?
Ah, you. See, my job is hard. And I'm blogging to tell you how hard it is. The least I can ask from you in return is to vote for me. Err.... to vote. But even though our wonderful Tivertonian education system teaches everyone to read, write and calculate at very early age (excluding the minor percentage of people with mental or physical disabilities. It's disabilities, because they are, for all we know, unable to learn to read and write and calculate. My Brother Wong is reading challenged, they are clearly unable. Maybe if we find a way to help them, but for the time being...)
Where was I? Yes, even though every Tivertonian is able to make an informed vote, they refrain from doing so, for one or another reason. Just think of my mom (hello mom!!):
"Yes of course I wanted to vote for you, but I had to go raspberry picking for the cake you like so much, and the aunt Emily came, and you know how she is talking and talking, and the day was gone"
So to make that decision easier for you, voting is compulsory now. A democracy doesn't end at the voting booth, but it sure begins there.
(Actually it begins in the minds of the people, but I've decided to stay away from that for now, and voting is the first expression required)
And besides, if my new advisor, Jessica Something, says "compulsory", I feel all warm and snuggly inside.
Welcome, welcome! Yes, I made it! Since today, 16:35 I am the ruler of Tivertonias. Leader. Elected. Democratic. Democratically elected leader. That's it. It is hard to get used to these things. My brother, Wong, seems to be a bit jealous, but he is looking up to me as if I were a titan and beautiful girls would spring from my brain.
And the first issue, I think I handled very well. Compulsory Voting. Yes of course! I take few vacations. I work hard 8 to ten hours day. I have to refrain from calling in the military and remain friendly when the representative of Zommer breathes his spoiled-milk-breath into my face and tells me 'funny' jokes I still remember from kindergarden. He says it's quality cheese, but I still say all they need are a few refrigerators. One per cow. Maybe he is testing my antics. "Does he still remembree zeese shokes? Yes, he is not debile yet. What aah pitie!"
Where was I?
Ah, you. See, my job is hard. And I'm blogging to tell you how hard it is. The least I can ask from you in return is to vote for me. Err.... to vote. But even though our wonderful Tivertonian education system teaches everyone to read, write and calculate at very early age (excluding the minor percentage of people with mental or physical disabilities. It's disabilities, because they are, for all we know, unable to learn to read and write and calculate. My Brother Wong is reading challenged, they are clearly unable. Maybe if we find a way to help them, but for the time being...)
Where was I? Yes, even though every Tivertonian is able to make an informed vote, they refrain from doing so, for one or another reason. Just think of my mom (hello mom!!):
"Yes of course I wanted to vote for you, but I had to go raspberry picking for the cake you like so much, and the aunt Emily came, and you know how she is talking and talking, and the day was gone"
So to make that decision easier for you, voting is compulsory now. A democracy doesn't end at the voting booth, but it sure begins there.
(Actually it begins in the minds of the people, but I've decided to stay away from that for now, and voting is the first expression required)
And besides, if my new advisor, Jessica Something, says "compulsory", I feel all warm and snuggly inside.
Abonnieren
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